“Cult-Core” Culture on the rise? unauthorized fire risk leads to panic, general bewilderment
Drekles Void spotted at the scene. Could he be responsible for leading our young ones astray?
Published: November 1st, 2025 - Written by Keith Cazares.
In a deep, secluded forest the night before last night
A huddled, or possibly hunched mass of cloaks is spotted between the trees. Whispering, clamoring, then shouting all at once, a fire hazard, a crash, a commotion. Is the idealization of cult movements a risk to our youth?
“I think so maybe.” says one area woman, “I hear a lot of loud shouting outside when I went to take my smoke break from all the loud shouting inside. And someone was already smoking my break for me!”
“I think its possible our kids are at risk from all the cult stuff they’re in to. My son Billathon, he keeps listening to this “nightcore” stuff. I just wish they could be more in to flipping cars after the result of a sporting event like their father.”
Area Woman ‘Ms. Are Awoman’ tipped us off to the scene when she spotted a plume of smoke deep in the woods, but our reporters, with their keen sense of smell, sniffed this scene of seances gone wrong beforehand with our local reporters communicating to our Senior Void Correspondent Keith. An untold number of cultists, possibly 10, possibly 10,000, were debating on the details of a ritual to summon their leader, Drekles Void, back in to the mundane world we know as the material plane. By setting ablaze to a legally distinct comedic orange cat, and chanting what I can only assume is the lyrics sheet to Abba’s Worst Hits, an untold horror was let upon this world: out of tune singing and a recreational bonfire in a fire restricted zone of the woods. Beyond that, in the commotion several objects of value were destroyed, which can only serve to harm property values. This could be bad news for the storage unit appraisal market.
To discuss these occult matters with the summoned being in question, our Senior Void Correspondent conducted an interview with Drekles incorporeal form still in the void.
It's been a good long while since we've last spoken to you, Drekles. How has the void been treating you?
“Good evening Keith! I’m glad to see you again! I’m untreated and unmedicated and I’m doing great! I’m loving the attention coming from the crowd inside!”
Did you know this summoning was coming, were you part of the plan? I hear the ritual to bring you in to the corporeal world was a little gruesome, is that normal for you?
“My lawyer…” he said gesturing to an empty spot in the room, “Is advising me to say that I wasn’t aware nor part of the plan. If you think the ritual was gruesome you should’ve seen the Gumball dream comic’s second panel.”
Your return to the physical realm is drawing criticism as another episode in the recent rise of occult activities. Do you have any thoughts about this? Do you think cults are a danger to our youth?
“I do believe the minds of the young should be protected and that’s why I don’t accept them in my cult. Which has no issues by the way, the ones with issues are the those made by your leaders.” his voice filled with anger, he physically begins to bubble like a lava lamp, “You see Keith Cazares? That’s what your kids are joining. That’s what’s brainwashing your kids. Am I wrong for doing what I want and being ‘cringe’? No, I think it’s the reality your ‘angels of light’ built that’s so f*dida (sic). At the end of the world they’ll have a party in their spaceship. You think your boss freaking cares about-” he stops mid-sentence to glare at a noise coming from nearby, “Evil Shadow can you stop whistling Queen?!”
His own shadow cast on the floor replied with glee, “Why? I’m having such a good time!”
He grunts with frustration in response, “Ugh! Whatever what was I saying? Yeah, nightcore is not evil, it’s a kind of music I used to listen to when I was younger and dat-…” his gaze became distant for a second as if his brain needed a pause, “And playing Zombie Tsunami.”
Will you have to bare any legal responsibility for these activities? Or any medical expenses? Seeing as it's only your body that was summoned.
“Will I? I mean, they’re trying to keep me alive right now.” he looks at his Casio GShock DW5600 as if consulting his lawyer about something of concern, “And now I can’t take any legal responsibility for these activities. They’ll have to bury my body and pray that it won’t awaken next Halloween.” He leans forwards and whispers to me with confidence, “Write in the article the model of my watch,” He gently taps on his watch with his black claw to make extra sure I’m paying attention, “it’s an important ‘tism detail. Also write what I’m saying right now, it would be so funny.”
Off the record, do you think you could get any one to summon me out of here? I worry about the job security as Senior Void Correspondent. My work has gotten a little thin and I have to pay void rent.
“KYAHAHAH! THAT’S HILARIOUS!” He wipes a tear off of whatever structure of flesh and matter one might call his face, “Thanks Keith, I needed it. Next question.”
Do you have any final thoughts you'd like to share with the readers at home?
“Gonna put the silliness aside for a moment, I’m sure some people want know. I went on a hiatus on June 10th 2024 for mental health reasons. I could’ve kept posting but I knew I wouldn’t have been able to hide my issues. I didn’t want my dear followers to be subjected to my ventings and ramblings, especially if they’re public, so I just left. Fast forward to today, I began therapy. I’m currently untreated and unmedicated, but the little help I got was enough to put me back in a mental space where I can sustain myself. The spike in activity from me recently is proof. But does this mean that I’m back from my hiatus? Well, no, and the reason is simple, I’m still trying to figure enough of the kafkaesque side of adulthood and I have no new works to share. But I still have my past works.” He does a backlflip and stands up on to his chair, adding a degree of jubilance to his speech, “That’s right! I’m now using your article as an advertisement for my new artbum. Discover Firefleyes Recto!” a physical JPEG of a candle materializes in his hands, in our world we call it ‘a print’, “This bad boy contains so many unpublished, unfinished and alternative pieces from Firefleyes and previous artbums: The Starting Line and The Liminal Gate!” He stopped and calmly sat back down on his chair. “Alright, thank you Keith, that was fun. It’s 3pm and time for my powernap. Good night Dreklists, good night.~”
As soon as he finished his sentence he immediately collapsed on the floor.
Cult activities have been under a lot of criticism in the recent years. After the horse election of 2023, nobody is sure which cults to trust. Park rangers have been critical of all of the litter left behind after cult activities, as well as the smell of unwashed robes making the area less attractive to campers and hikers. The number of ambulances called to remote locations where cults take place is also adding unneeded strain to our emergency serves, even if our first responders find the drives scenic.
With the summoning of Drekles Void, our analysts at ‘I Can’t Believe It’s That Times Again’ predicted that the possible change in cult activities could increase as much as 50% ± 200%. Is it worth letting your kid risk joining a cult by finding friends and going outside? Or is it better to let them stay in at home, where it’s safe, occupying them with nothing but rusty knives and matches? Only time will tell.
Credits:
Article written in collaboration with Vivian Nelson She makes cool art and poems. She also has a TMG song about her. Stuff an egg with as many 4 dollar bills as you can to summon her! Try it! It's fun!
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Background image in the article header by Henrique Malaguti from Unsplash.
Thumbnail for the video by Emma Renly from Unsplash.
Background image for the interview by Samuel Regan-Asante from Unsplash.
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